Approaching Independence Day

This evening I watched the tail end of Christiane Amanpour's CNN Special, Notes From North Korea, which chronicles the New York Philharmonic's historic performance in North Korea a few months ago.

Amanpour interviewed a woman by the name of Ji Hae Nam.  In 1993, she was thrown in jail, where she was interrogated, tortured and starved over the course of the next three years.

The charge against her?  Singing a South Korean pop song at a Christmas party with friends.

The communist regime in North Korea is so strict that singing or performing any music that doesn't promote communist ideals or praise Kim Jong Il is forbidden.  The slightest criticism against the communist government lands citizens in jail or worse.

Google Ji Hae Nam.  You'll find her 2003 testimony in front of congress.  It's heartbreaking.

I am thankful I live in a country where I can sing Gershwin in my kitchen.  I can't believe places exist in the world where musicians are forbidden to express themselves.

For every man that lives without freedom, the rest of us must face the guilt.

- Lillian Hellman

Label Un-Maker

I had a disturbing interaction with a customer a couple of weeks ago.

He was upset we didn't have coffee (the brewer was broken).  When he found out I was in charge, he took it upon himself to start giving me a bad time.  He ordered a beverage, then decided he wanted a different size and ultimately decided he wanted it iced.  So as I'm re-making the beverage for the third time, he asks me my name.  

"Kate," I answer warily.

"You from Columbus, Kate?"

"No, I'm from just outside of Portland, Oregon."

To which he replies (verbatim):  "Oregon, huh?  Well, you must be a tree-hugging liberal, then.  Are you voting for Barack Obama?"

I was stunned.  I was shocked that that kind of ignorance actually existed.  I mean, he was totally serious.

I wasn't insulted; I happen to think environmental awareness is a key issue, I think Obama is the man for the job and they're both things I'm proud to say.

But why are people so obsessed with labels?

Even right after he said it, I came up with more than several unflattering terms for this particular gentleman, none of which I'm proud of, so I won't repeat them.  

I'm currently reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, in which he suggests that name-calling and labeling are the most basic and crudest manifestations of our unconscious' need to feel superior to others.  By making someone a "this" or a "that", we make ourselves "feel better" by placing ourselves above them.

There's no point.  There's no purpose to making yourself superior.  There's no purpose in being superior to anyone, because it's impossible.  We're all the same in the eyes of God.

How did I respond?  I smiled smugly and replied "I'm not allowed to discuss politics while I'm working."  According to Mr. Tolle (I'm totally paraphrasing, because I can't find the particular pages I'm looking for), lack of retaliation is the most effective response in regards to the positive upkeep of one's spirit.  It really resonated with me when I read that.

It's beautiful outside.  I'm going to the pool.

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Blessings: Vol. 2

It's been a very stressful week. So I'm focusing on the many blessings in my life to keep myself from completely freaking out. Here are five of the highlights I am thankful for:

1. I'm thankful for my boyfriend. You know it's love when you both always offer each other the last little smidgen of organic chocolate cake/Dippin' Dots/bottled water.

2. I'm thankful for my job. I love the work environment. I love the people I work with. I love that I constantly have something to do, even though it's exhausting. I love that I don't have to sit on my butt and answer phones or beg people for money or con them into buying something they don't need. It's not awesome money, but it's decent money and I have great health insurance. I would rather make less money at a job I love than make six figures stuck in a cubicle. I gave a customer a complimentary beverage the other day because she was having a rough morning. She said it made her day. In turn, it made my day.

3. I'm thankful for Brooklyn Boy. I just finished doing a really great play with really great people. When I was in New York, I kept receiving the advice that I should "look for the actor whose career I want." I found bits and pieces in different individuals, but couldn't find who I really wanted to be like. I found her, in both of the other women in the cast. They have genuine down-to -earth personalities, have made pretty steady careers for themselves in acting, and they don't live in NYC or LA. It's hard to explain; I want a acting/performing life without an excess of the crap that goes along with it, and I found two other ladies who've done that. I feel like we proved that great art can happen anywhere when you have legitimately talented artists, great director and a well-written script. I'm also thankful for this experience because it's really rekindled my passion for the art.

4. I'm thankful for my parents. I'm really close with them. I talk to my mom at least once a day; sometimes twice. I'm thankful that I'll be closer to them (geographically!) soon.

5. I'm thankful for my fitness progress. All through high school, I was the kid who couldn't even jog two minutes of the monthly mile run. I usually walked the entire way in a little over twelve minutes. I'm now running an 8:07 mile on the elliptical at the gym.

My challenge for myself this week is to not get caught up in "stuff". My phone and my laptop both broke on the same day, and I had a fit. Two expensive devices I rely heavily upon. Broken. Cracked. In need of repair. Costing me money. Money that I want to save.

Ultimately, it's just a computer, it's just a phone and it's just money. There are so many other important things in life. They're just three things that have gone awry in the grand scheme of my many other abundant blessings. "Stuff" isn't important.

I have love. I have family. I have hope. I have faith. I have much to be thankful for.

God is good, even when life is not.

The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he's always doing both.
- James A. Michener

Why I Love Geese

The meaning of life can be found in the following scenario:

I'm driving down Schrock Road on my way home from work.  I turn left at the light.  Not far ahead in front of me are two geese crossing the road.  As I approach them, I see they are attempting to escort their six or seven goslings to the other side of the street.  A police car is stopped at the corner of a parking lot entrance, watching them.  Mama and Papa Goose are violently craning their necks; pumping their ebony heads rapidly up and down and hissing at the Ford Five Hundred and Honda CRV in front of me.  These titanic monster-cars have them grossly out-gunned, but Mama and Papa are ready to fight my station wagon to the death.   The tiny gaggle of goslings are slowly scurrying towards their parents, except for one who's decided all this street-crossing nonsense is making him tired so he needs to plop in the middle of the lane for a few minutes.  I change lanes and slowly pass them.  As I'm looking into the goose's intense beady-black gaze, it occurs to me:

We are the geese, fiercely defending our precious essence from the goliath cars life hurls at us as we cross the street.  God is the police car; watching, protecting but not interfering with how we react to the monsters in our way.

He knows we will make it to the other side of the road, all the better for having made the journey.

The Porcelain Goddess' Burden

I used to be self-conscious about my pasty white complexion.

I used to think I was unnaturally pale, until my make-up artist from a photo shoot commented that my fair skin made me a "porcelain goddess".  Since that day, I've never lamented my melanin-deprived complexion.  Power to the un-tanned!

But sometimes it sucks when I spend a grand total of fifteen minutes in the sun and then return to my apartment with pink shoulders and funky halter-top-shaped tan lines.

Totally worth it, though, for all of this amazing SUNSHINE!

In other news, I'm in a play.  It's nice to be acting again.  Turns out I've missed it more than I thought I did.

"Don't knock the weather.  If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation."

- Kin Hubbard

Humanity in Context

Lately, I find myself easily frustrated by human stupidity.

I sometimes think some people wake up in the morning and seriously say to themselves, "I think I'll be a douchebag today."

It's not that I've lost all hope for humanity.  I've always believed in the overall goodness of people.  The negative just seems to be grossly magnified lately.  I feel like I see so many rude faces. I feel like I get really irritated really easily.

So I've started an experiment to combat my toxic mindset.  Instead of seeing someone's face, I try to see their story.  

It's very easy to take a person out of context.  For example:  I helped a customer a couple of Saturdays ago who was very rude.  She misspoke her order, and when I tried to clarify, she snapped at me.  It had been a long day, and I really wasn't in the mood for a verbal assault from this old lady.  I quietly told her the total dollar amount, placed her order on the bar and prayed she would just leave quickly.  Out of nowhere, she turns around and apologizes.  "I'm sorry," she says, "We've had a really rough time, lately.  My husband's not well."

I realized it wasn't about me; it was about her story.  It was about what she had been through.  I'll bet nine times out of ten the way a person acts is the result of something they've been through in the past.  

So my personal challenge is to take human behavior in context.  My challenge is to discover their stories.  Hopefully it'll help me not take things so personally, and maybe have a very small impact on someone's life.

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

- Mother Theresa

Blessings

I love Easter.  

Whether you're Christian or not, Easter is the celebration of life renewed.  It always falls around the beginning of spring, when snow begins to melt and flowers start to appear.  

I always start to notice more and more butterflies around this time of year.

I was very blessed to spend Easter Sunday with Nathan, both of my parents and a good portion of Nathan's family.  It was really fun hanging out with Nathan's grandpa.  All four of my grandparents are gone now, so I always enjoy seeing Grandpa Len and chatting with him.  He reminds me a lot of my grandpa.

It seems like it's been a tough year for not only myself, but for many friends and loved ones.  So, I propose a blog-toast to fresh beginnings; new flowers, melted snow, fresh grass and baby ducks.  Here's to butterflies; here's to moving away from clouds and closer to sunshine.  

Here's to an empty tomb.  Amen.

It is the hour to rend thy chains;

The blossom time of souls.

- Katherine Lee Bates