An Open Letter to a Rude Individual

I have a newsflash for you.  You're not better than me.

Your level of education is not equal to your level of intelligence.  How far and how well you do in school does not always equal how successful you are in life (see Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Charles Dickens...). It doesn't take a Ph.D, a Masters or even a Bachelor's degree to be a visionary.  At the end of the day, guess what?  We're all the same.

I graduated valedictorian from high school with an impressive transcript full of advanced courses.  I received over a half-ride for my college education based on not only my grades but also my talent.  I graduated Magna Cum Laude from a highly accredited private university. I chose to work at a coffee shop.

This particular job provides me with health insurance, which my other two (yes, that's a total of three) jobs are unable to provide.  My other jobs provide with joy and a tangible sensation of my imprint on humanity.  I work in the service of God.  I work in the service of youth.  I work in the service of theatre, music and art.  And I also happen to work in food service.  Make no mistake -  I chose this.

I don't know what kind of trauma happened to you to give you the ability to rationalize your cruelty and disdain for others.  Maybe it was a big trauma.  Maybe it was a little trauma.  But clearly you haven't dealt with it, and that serves no one.  Especially you, and certainly not others.  It would seem, though, that you care not for the service of others; perhaps you have the misfortune of caring only for yourself.  I am sorry that it happened to you, whatever it was or is, but it is not an excuse to treat someone the way I saw you treat my co-worker today.

I am proud of what I do.  I love what I do.  I don't want to serve coffee for the rest of my life, but for now, it is a means to an end.  I live for the few moments in between slinging lattes that I can make a difference in someone's day.

I pray that one day you will be able to open your heart and realize your potential to be a light in the lives of others instead of cruising through life as a candle snuffer.

Been a while...

Oh hey, blog!  How are you?  How've you been?  You look kinda pissed that I haven't been around...yeah, sorry about that...

Long story short, Nathan and I got married.  Nathan joined the United States Army.  (His test scores were off the charts.  You need at least 110 in each area to be considered "really good".  He got 115 in one area and between 125 and 130 in all the other areas.  Landed a job in military intelligence.  Super cool.)  I got another job at the church where I grew up working with the youth program.  Love it.  Six weeks into training, Nathan freakishly broke his leg on a two-mile run with his unit. (We think it was from the crappy shoes they gave him.  One of his physical therapists supported that theory.  How much money are we spending in Iraq?)  He had to have major surgery.  He has a steel rod in his leg now and has had some bad knee issues.  He was given an honorable medical discharge...after nine months...when it should've taken five.  Needless to say, it was the most frustrating experience of both of our lives.

BUT...it brought us closer together and has made us appreciate each other so much more. 

So, that's kind of why I've been neglecting you, blog.  Please forgive me?  I'll try and update more frequently.  I can't make any promises, though.  Two jobs and being a newlywed (for the second year in a row) has me very busy.

God.  Is.  Good.

Awareness

I posted this as a note on Facebook the other day.  I thought I would cross-post.

Awareness

I guess I’m a bit concerned by the “Bra-Color Facebook Status” breast cancer awareness campaign. (Plus, I’m kind of creeped out at the idea of giving all 695 of my Facebook friends the opportunity to think about my boobs.)

So here’s why I’m concerned:

In 2007, a group of my Theta Nu sisters participated in the Race for the Cure in Columbus. We were honoring our sister Ellen’s mom, Joy who was re-diagnosed with breast cancer in February that year. The most memorable image I have of that day was turning the corner onto High Street and seeing this ocean of pink and white walking in front of us. There were thousands of people in front of us. I remember being overwhelmed; overwhelmed with awe by how many people had banded together for this one cause, and overwhelmed with sorrow that so many people have been impacted by the disease. That moment is forever imprinted on my heart and in my mind.

In 2009, an estimated 194,280 new cases of breast cancer were documented. (1,910 of those estimated cases were men, so I find it rather bothersome that we’re focusing on bra color.) An estimated 40,610 souls lost their lives to breast cancer last year. So that’s a total of 234,890 people estimated to have been directly affected by breast cancer. That’s a little less than the total population of St. Petersburg, FL, so it’s basically an entire city. And these are estimated new cases and deaths from just last year. That’s not including the people who have passed on or are still battling the disease diagnosed in years prior.

Anyone who has been close to someone with any serious illness can tell you that the disease doesn’t just affect the individual; it affects their entire community. And by "community", I don't mean locale; I mean the people they are connected to. Each of those 234,890 people has a mother. They have fathers. They have friends. They have children. They have co-workers. They have neighbors. They are your pastor. They are your teacher. They are your coach. They are your sorority sister. They are the nice person who works at the grocery store who always goes out their way to ask you how your day has been.

It’s you. You are affected. Whether you have breast cancer or not, chances are you know someone who has it currently or has had it in the past.

So get educated. Do you know how old you need to be when you need to start getting a mammogram? Do you know the risk factors and warning signs? Do you know how to look for a lump in your breast? Did you think about these questions as you were typing the color of your bra in your status box? Did you take a moment to honor someone you know who’s no longer here because of breast cancer? If you didn’t, please do so right now.

Awareness is about knowing the facts. You must be educated. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a guy or a girl. Get educated. Breast cancer is so much bigger than what color bra I’m wearing.

I don’t write this to be snarky or self-righteous; there’s nothing wrong with the trend; in fact, I love that Facebook gives the opportunity for a great idea developed by a small group of individuals to be accessed by millions of people. I write this because I have been blessed with a fantastic community of people I love, and I know too many people in that community who have been affected in one way or another. So please make sure the movement accomplishes what it intended, and goes beyond being just a popular trend. This isn’t the “25 Things About Me” survey. This is real.

We have to beat this.

So here are your resources. These links are where some of my numbers came from:

www.komen.org
www.cancer.org



You’ve read my note. You have no excuse. Go get the facts.



Besides, if you want to know what color bra I’m wearing, you at least have to buy me dinner first.



That was a joke. ;)

Peculiar Passing Moments

Today I feel better about things.

Inspiration and encouragement come from the most unexpected and wonderful places.  I recently had my hair cut by a wonderful gal at a salon in Beaverton.  She recently moved here from Texas.  The subject came up that I had been laid off.  She shared a story with me about how she had been unexpectedly let go from a job once too, but that it opened a door to a better career.  "I know it's hard, but don't worry.  I can tell you're a smart girl", she said.  "Something better will turn up."  She was my angel that day.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  I was so thankful that she said it!

One of my "other mothers" was my angel the other day.  Her husband is extraordinary and hard-working.  She told me that he has been laid off three times in his life.  I was so surprised.  But I was very relieved; I realized that it just happens.  But it happens for a reason.

I've set the wheels in motion to apply for grad school in January.  Oregon State has a one-year immersion program where I could get my teaching license and my M.A.T.  I'm leaning towards ECE/Elementary Education to start out with.  I'd like to be licensed through 12th grade eventually.

I think I get it.  I'm supposed to be somewhere I can make a difference.

Soap Box

The following is an expression of frustration regarding several issues and/or behaviors I have noticed lately in various contexts.

The first: women/men who use words like "skank", "hoe" and "bitch" as terms of endearment. I think it's a huge step backwards in our overall cultural development. I went to my church's senior luncheon on Wednesday and had an interesting conversation with a delightful lady about etiquette and how it doesn't really exist anymore. I'm not saying we need to revert back to 1910 and hold our pinkies in the air when we drink coffee and tea; but I think there is a definite lack of respect in general between individuals in our society. Swearing in public in front of strangers is rude. I think calling your best friend a "whore" and then following it with "Love you!!!" contributes to her lack of self-esteem. That kind of sarcasm irks me; I see it creating a negative energy that is ultimately destructive.

Second issue: Oregon's weather. It's f-ing cold. Seriously.

Issue the third: women who hold onto past relationships. Let it go. It's over. Grieve and mourn, and then move on. Don't text him. Don't write on his wall. Don't meet him for happy hour. Be amicable; but you can't be friends. Everything happens for a reason, and there's a reason it's over. (The preceding is completely the opinion of the author and does not apply in all situations. But most of the time, it does.)

I'm not really sure where all that came from. It popped into my head earlier today and thought I would vent it into cyberspace so it wouldn't clog up my imagination. Some of it is probably due to the fact that I am under the weather. I have a raging headache right now.

Some of it also may come from the frustration stemming from the fact that I was laid off last week.

I put 110% of myself into my work. It was pretty crushing.

Ok. New soap box:

Primary issue: don't let your job define your self-worth. In fact, don't let anyone but yourself define your self-worth. There will be many opportunities in life, and none of them will last forever. Everything happens for a reason. God shuts the doors and opens windows. He has plans for you that are greater than you can possibly imagine. Have faith. And keep looking up.

Always good to end on a positive note.

Off I scamper to claim my unemployment benefits for this week.

What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

- Revelation 3:7-8

Breaking Rules

When I was 17, I made a rule for myself: I would not get married before I turned 30. I was fiercely dedicated to the idea that I would move to New York and have a booming acting career, and I wasn't going to let a man get in the way of that.

It's so funny, these plans and rules we make; I'm sure God just sits back, shakes his head and chuckles.

On September 6th, Nathan asked me to marry him at the Heceta Head lighthouse overlooking the Pacific ocean. It was the most perfect moment of my life. And now I'm having tons of fun planning my wedding. We have our venue booked and I'm currently going back and forth between two breathtaking Maggie Sottero dresses. We're getting married on August 8, 2010. We want to honeymoon in either Hawaii or Costa Rica. (Hawaii is winning right now.) I feel so much more complete, like part of me was missing before.

In August, I quit my job at Netflix. I remember writing about how I once promised myself I would never work in a call center. I realize now why that was true. It was so mundane. All those stupid statistics that determined how well I was doing...they had no meaning whatsoever. It was a difficult decision; I'm not a quitter. But I was stifled.

God had other plans. A week before my last day, I filled out an application online (one of many) for a job at a graphic design and print shop in downtown Portland. The same day I filled out the application, I had a phone call from the owner asking for an interview. That was Wednesday. Friday I had my interview, where she offered me the job on the spot. I started a week later.

It's a great job. I'm learning so much. I feel appreciated. We're working on really great projects for prominent businesses in Portland. Last week, I was in charge a marketing booklet that we shipped to the VP of Yahoo. It's awesome. Not to mention, I know where I'm getting my wedding invitations done. :)

I've been taking class with my dad at Tony Starlight's in the Hollywood District. We've been singing and performing together. It's one of the coolest things I've ever done. I love listening to my dad sing, and I love that I'm singing and performing again. If I had moved to New York, I wouldn't be able to do this with my dad. I'm really glad I stayed in Ohio and then moved home.

Nathan started classes last week at Portland State University. He's getting his degree in Mechanical Engineering, something he's wanted to do for a while. He's achieved perfect scores on all of his assignments so far. I'm so proud of him.

The summer was full of tough decisions and challenges; autumn has brought so many new and exciting changes. We couldn't get to autumn without going through summer. I am thankful to God for those trials, because ultimately they reaped so many blessings.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

~ Psalm 46:1-3

Flexibility

My goal lately is to adapt. Overall. In general.

We can't control what happens to us. We can control how we handle the situation. We can adjust our attitude.

I have a bad attitude about things sometimes. I get wrapped up in "why is this happening to me" and "this isn't fair". It's something of which I'm now very aware. So I have a choice: wallow in my maladjusted 'tude or change my perspective. I choose the latter.

Subsequently, my normally sky-high stress level has plummeted. It might just be the best feeling in the world.