There's A Moment When You Know The Thousands of Dollars You Shelled Out Were Worth It...

So we're sitting at the Maxtown Starbucks last night during our Espresso Bar Re-Training, and our trainer has us participate in a roll-playing exercise.  Everything goes smoothly; afterwards, she says "Hey thanks for bearing with me through that.  I know roll-playing scenarios like that can be nervewracking, I personally hate them..."

And inside I'm thinking "Nervewracking?  No, 'nervewracking' is singing 'Far From The Home I Love' in front of an oversold house with a fever of 104 on the first day you've actually even been able to speak out of the last five.  'Nervewracking' is going to open a door to enter the stage and having it get stuck, forcing you to make up Neil-Simon-esque dialogue at the last second.  'Nervewracking' is being 5'10" and having to dance and move gracefully in front of a thousand-plus sold out crowd in four inch heels.  You think improvising a simple coffee-house training scenario is tough?  Come find me after you've played a 60-year-old armless southern woman who draws pictures with her feet.  Then we'll talk about 'nervewracking'."

God, I love theatre.  It's like doing the impossible over and over again.

Prepare your mind to receive the best that life has to offer.

-Ernest Holmes

Peaceful, Easy Feelings

The sun is shining today.  Sometimes that makes all the difference.

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

- Jane Wagner

Rejoicing in Suffering

Some jerk broke into Nathan's car Sunday night.

Not "broke into" like they bashed in one of the windows; "broke into" as in they took a device, removed the entire lock mechanism and then proceeded to try and hot wire the car by cutting out a piece of the plastic underneath the ignition.  The key wouldn't fit in the ignition, so Nathan couldn't start the car.   Almost the entire steering wheel column, the entire lock and door handle have to be replaced.  It's going to be about a thousand dollars.

Nathan's very frustrated, because it's a big chunk out of his savings for our move.  I'm really frustrated because I don't understand how people can be so low as to try and steal honest, hard-working people's cars.  

At first we had kind of this "Why me?" mentality; we both kicked around the idea that maybe God was trying to tell us something specific, or that maybe he was punishing us.  But my God is not one who deliberately punishes His children, as a parent would spank a child.  My God is a father and a teacher; he knows what lessons are best for us to learn, and that sometimes we have to struggle and suffer for a while to get the point.

There's a really great bible verse I first heard when I was having a really rough time my senior year in college:

We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  - Romans 5:3-5

Not to say that I'm jumping up and down celebrating that Nathan's car got broken into; I'm definitely not.  It was a pretty big blow. If anything, though, the tougher times make me appreciate the easier times, and I know that once we make it back to Oregon, we'll appreciate all of God's blessings that much more because they were slightly difficult to come by for a while.  Plus, the important thing is that the car wasn't stolen and nobody was hurt.  In the long run, it's just a car.  It's not even remotely as valuable as our lives and our health.

There are so many things we take for granted.  When those things fall away, we realize what huge blessings they are.

On a happy note, we visited the Franklin Park Conservatory on Sunday after church.  It was really wonderful to just be around so many beautiful plants and trees.  Not to mention the fact that each room was temperature controlled to about sixty five degrees.  THAT was awesome. :)

The Beginning of a Good Week

It's gonna be a good week.  I can tell.  Of course, I guess it always helps my attitude when I have Monday off.

Nathan and I watched Sunshine on Saturday night.  It's directed by Danny Boyle, who did 28 Days Later.  It didn't get very good reviews, and its  US box office numbers weren't that great, but we thought it was really good.  It was pretty awesome to watch on Nathan's big screen, too.  

So it's the Season of Lent now, the 40 days before Easter.  I'm kind of struggling with my Lenten journey this year, because I don't really have anything I feel I can give up (at least nothing I haven't given up before).  I thought about giving something, but financially I'm really tight right now.  Plus, I really feel like God is pointing me back to Oregon, so I'm really trying to save up for the transition.

Lent is also a difficult time to go church-hopping.  So far we've found a lot of sermons and messages about stewardship and giving, and that always makes me feel a little weird.  Nathan and I are hesitant to join a church right now, because we know we're moving in the next few months.  We have one that we really like, and we'll probably start attending regularly; but I just can't bring myself to transfer membership from my church at home in Oregon.  I think that's where God has His work for me.  In the mean time, I'm just trying to leave my heart open to what He has to say.

The sun is out today, which is also nice.  Winter is always easier to tolerate when the sun is shining.  50 mph wind gusts and single-digit wind chill make it a lot tougher.  I was really close to taking out a hit on Punxsutawney Phil last weekend.

Fear less, hope more;

Whine less, breathe more;

Talk less, say more;

Hate less, love more;

And all good things are yours.

- Swedish proverb

Boo Ohio.

It was 50 degrees yesterday.

Today it's 23.  And very windy.

Boo.  Hiss.

When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.

- Alice Hoffman

Buff On Movies

Well, no Best Supporting Actor SAG award for Hal Holbrook.  It was awfully hard to compete with Javier Bardem, though.  He gave a very solid, chilling performance.  And the Cohen brothers are brilliant.

Nathan and I saw There Will Be Blood last night.  What a well-made movie!  Daniel Day-Lewis is such a consistently awesome actor.  After we see Michael Clayton, we'll have seen all five nominees for Best Picture.  This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, but I've just always been too busy.  We've seen a lot of really great movies, lately.  

I just also have to say that I loved both National Treasure movies.  Action flicks are my guilty pleasure.

I'm rather saddened by the fallout surrounding Heath Ledger's death.  From numerous away messages, status updates, etc:  "Heath Ledger died.  So sad, he was so hot."  

It's always frustrated me in my acting pursuit when I get asked the question "So, are you famous yet?  When are we going to see you in movies/on Broadway/at the Oscars?"  They mean well, but I have a real problem with the concept of celebrity.  I never wanted that.  Contrary to popular belief, "celebrity" is not synonymous with "successful".  I think giving humans celebrity status dehumanizes them, in a way.  They become icons; objects, in essence.  

I don't perform because I want to be famous.  I perform because I'm an artist with the ability to tell and share stories that can have an impact on people's lives, and that's what I love.  I've put performing on hold for a while because I lost sight of that.

So it really upsets me that there are people who are not remembering Heath Ledger as an artist, a son, a brother and a father; it upsets me that there are people who are first and foremost remembering him as an icon, a celebrity or a piece of eye-candy.

Mmmkay.  Getting off my soapbox now.

On a lighter note, it is a beautiful, little-bit-warmer morning outside.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

- Fred Allen

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
And remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
And listen to others,
Even the dull and the ignorant;
They too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
They are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
You may become vain and bitter;
For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
For the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals;
And everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
Gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
Be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
No less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
Whatever you conceive Him to be,
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
In the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann